Midget sex pt 2 tonight
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
