Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
