I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
