i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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