Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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