If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
