we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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