you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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