dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
