I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
