New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My penis needs a shock collar
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I touched a dick in church today
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
