Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
