Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
