May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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