Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
