My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
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What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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