i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
