On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
