Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
