Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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