I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
