there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize