Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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