I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
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Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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