You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
