Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Vodka?
Forever.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
