erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
