Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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