people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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