I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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