I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
