i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
