We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
