So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The best revenge is premature balding
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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