it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
