we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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