its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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