So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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