summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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