If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
