I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't deserve a penis
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
