I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The beer is more important than you right now.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Alive.
So much puke
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Randomize
