And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
