CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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