he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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