I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dear god my vagina.
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