Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
