At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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