Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
