Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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