actually, I'm a sock model
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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