Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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