What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Pants are for mortals
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
