the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You don't make any sense
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