You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
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Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
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I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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